Deception

 I've tried to be an honest person in life and generally don't aim to deceive anyone, but that has all changed because of these collies.

They are too smart for me and always know when I'm about to go anywhere, based on my sunglasses and footwear, and they are all about being included. Winston, the one on the left, will go right to the door and stand in front of it so that if I were to try to open it he would go out too. Mia follows in his wake.

So I've taken to going downstairs, which is a direct ruse, because downstairs is where their food is and the only thing they love more than walks is food. I'll go down the stairs next to the back door, then they'll follow me, and then I'll quickly go up the stairs, out the door, and leave. It's a low trick but it's the only way.

Then there's Gus. Gus is a miniature poodle, and, not to put too fine a point on it, stinky. Of course the collies have a definite dog smell--how could they not, they are very large dogs--but with poodles it's different. None of this is Gus's fault; it wasn't his choice to be a poodle and be bred to be a lap dog, but that is what he is. All he wants to do is sit on my lap, and all I want is for him to not do that. He is cute, though. Sometimes he will just capsize on the floor and wait for me to rub his tummy.

So those are the pups here in Madison. Honorable mention goes to the Roomba who also lives here and who does his best gathering up all the dog hair on a daily basis. He gets stuck in weird spots, he sometimes can't find his way home before running out of battery (as is the way of Roombas), but all in all he's a good little robot vacuum and I appreciate him.