Reevaluating
I can get quite attached to plans. A plan to me is not only a blueprint but a benchmark, a standard against which I am measured and judged. That said, I'm reevaluating the plans I made earlier in the summer. I'm letting them float away on the breeze. Without an obligation to do drive to the Northeast, I need to figure out what I would actually like to do. That's difficult! So for now, I'm sitting in the sun in some chairs.
Resources
Here are some resources I am using to take care of my mental health and which I recommend in case they can be helpful to you:
- Counseling - finding someone you like and can trust with your deranged thoughts is great
- The HeartMath Inner Balance gizmo - I don't necessarily use it consistently, but it's nice to have if you can feel yourself becoming un-calm and want to regain equilibrium or "coherence"
- Going on a walk or run - there's no substitute for being outside with the sun shining on you
- The Wheel of Awareness exercise - I actually just heard about this through The Place We Find Ourselves podcast, which I also recommend, so I'm new to the practice but I think it will be helpful in the long run
I've observed that some things are helpful to others which are not helpful to me, and vice versa, so I'm sharing my list as an example and would like to emphasize that you may come up with your own list. And it might have only one item right now, and that's ok!
New State: Michigan
I've been in Michigan for the past few days, and it seems a pleasant place. People are friendly and say hi to you when you pass them on the path.
The path I found, behind the apartment complex of my Airbnb, looks like Michigan has looked to me: green everywhere and the air full of moisture. I know I'm not doing Michigan justice. Lizzie loves it, and it seems pretty. There are lots of trees that look like this.
Ultimately, Michigan has not made a great mental or emotional impression on me. It has, however, left its mark upon me in the form of the multiple mosquito bites I now have on my feet and ankles.
A Consecrated Virgin
On Sunday, I had the great honor and joy to attend my college friend's ceremony to become a consecrated virgin at the Cathedral of St. Andrew in Grand Rapids, MI.
My friend Lizzie is a remarkable person. While we were both studious, intellectual (read: nerdy) undergrads together, I was always struck by her focus and intentness on the things of God. She has long loved the liturgy, and in fact has her Master's degree in liturgical studies. It seems her calling was always to be set apart, to be specifically for Jesus, though it took her a while to discover this specific vocation: consecrated virginity.
I won't pretend to be able to explain consecrated virginity (actually, Lizzie has written a whole article about it for those who are interested), but I'll outline briefly what I know it isn't--an Eastern approach to explaining a mystery. It isn't human marriage: despite her bridal adornments, Liz is now espoused to God Himself. It isn't religious life: she did not take vows, nor will she belong to a religious community; instead, she will live and work in the world, much as before, yet not as before. It isn't temporary: she has now been consecrated and belongs definitively to God and His Church. Finally, it is not new: from what I understand this vocation was a precursor to monastic and religious communities, an expression of the flaming desire of those women in love with God to be His and no one else's.
For her consecration Mass, Lizzie had those of us in the choir sing "E'en So, Lord Jesus, Quickly Come," the refrain to which has been buzzing in my head all week: "Rejoice in heaven, all ye that dwell therein!" This rejoicing, this joy, because Jesus is our true love, our true homeland, and is coming soon--my friend is experiencing the foretaste of this on earth, as He has already claimed her for his own.
City life
Last night I learned something. We took the Chicago Architecture Foundation Center's River Cruise and Architecture Tour, and my main takeaway was that when you build a lot of big buildings, a lot of people will come live and work in them, at least if they are in Chicago. And then you have to keep building them.
After the great Chicago Fire, in defiance of nature and in proclamation of the dominance of capitalism, Chicago started to soar. They had the World's Fair and in a massive case of groupthink people flocked to the city and began to build even more cool, tall buildings. The residents here are rightly proud of them: there was a plan here, and the plan was executed.
Really, who wouldn't want to spend their days stacked in skyscrapers surrounded by other skyscrapers, all jammed into a couple miles of city? It seems ideal. They bring commerce to you, and somehow, you contribute to it. The circle of life.
In fact, architectural endeavors here continue to this day. In recent memory, the Chicago River used to be nasty and gross, but now it's pleasingly gentrified, with industrial buildings converted into condos, riverwalk areas, open spaces, and of course: more residents. They build more vertical housing every year. What could be more beautiful?
Walking back from the Tour along the Riverwalk, we encountered many, many people. They were everywhere. How could we be surprised? That is, after all, the point.
The Fine Art of Doing Less
My unpopular belief is that many of us, especially and including myself, need to do less. Less is the space of creativity. Less is the space of understanding. More gets you...less. Much less than you think.
Chicago
Some have questioned where I am, and to the questioners, I offer this update: I am in Chicago. I arrived in the night, and it being night, I sought food and not blogging initially. To make it more confusing, despite being in Chicago, last night I parked in Canada.
In the morningtime, I did not go out. I prayed, ate breakfast, and got to work. But Vanessa went out and took this photo.
I've been to Chicago several times so I already know it's beautiful, immense, glassy, and historic. Even a casual glance out of the window behind my work desk confirms the fact.
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